I don't understand
by mouse200
Summary: After being turned into humans and ninja 'turtles' have to learn how to be just like everyone else, Leo and Mikey even have to go to school! But when Leo gets drunk at a party things start to change in his already confusing life. RaphXLeo later on. Rated for drinking and mentions of sex. please read and review (p.s sorry for the terrible title it was all I could think of)
1. Chapter 1

Leo lay on his bed. He was sad, ever since becoming human he hadn't seen much of his 'brothers'. They were all trying to learn how to act like all other teenagers or adults but to Leo it all seemed stupid. He didn't want to be like all the other teenagers in the world he wanted to be a ninja. He ran his hand through his black hair sighing, 'Why can't things be the same?' he asked himself.

When the turtles had transformed into humans after an explosion which killed the krang everything changed. Splinter, who was still half rat, had told them they could no longer live in the sewer because Leo and Mikey had to go to school and Raph and Donnie should find jobs to pay for the house, food etc. Splinter had also taken their weapons telling them that they no longer needed them but would keep hold of them just in case.

The 'turtles' were obviously not related, there hair was different colours their eyes were different colours and basically they looked nothing alike, also they weren't the same age. Mikey had refused to say that they weren't brothers and said that even if they weren't related they will always be brothers because they would. Leo smiled, Mikey never made sense but he was right, they were still like brothers but they weren't much like friends anymore.

Leo's smile faded as he sat up. As they no longer trained or went on missions together they hadn't spent much time together. Mikey would spend all day watching the TV and going out every 20 minutes to get more pizza like any normal 14 year old boy would do. Donnie had turned the dining room into a lab and was working on a formula to turn Splinter into a human so he could live with them. And Raph… well Raph never seemed to leave his room, like Leo. Neither of them wanted to be humans, but they had no choice, besides Leo had school in a couple of hours.

Leo looked over at his clock, 5:20. He groaned; he didn't know why he was up so early. There was nothing to do in this boring house seeing as his favourite TV show has gone off the air. He finally decided that he might as well get up and have breakfast so he would have time for a shower.

He was half way down the stairs when he heard a thump behind him. Leo quickly spun around to see Mikey standing behind him. "Couldn't sleep?" Leo asked.

"Yhar, I guess I'm nervous for school tomorrow..." Mikey pushed his blond hair back out of his eyes. "That makes two of you," Donnie appeared behind Mikey and looking at Leo knowing exactly why he was up.

"You should be April said it sucks," Raph's voice came from behind Leo; he had a bowl of cereal in his hand. The four of them laughed, it looks like all of them hadn't slept at all that night. "What time is it?" Dannie asked stretching his arms above him head and flicking him brown fringe out of his eyes. "Half five," Leo and Raph said at the same time, they looked at each other for a second then back at Donnie. "Well we had to get up in half an hour any ways," Donnie walked down the stairs with Mikey following after him.

Raph was about to turn around and go down the stairs to when he noticed that Leo was going back to his room. "Where you goin' Leo?" Raph asked stuffing a spoonful of crunchy cereal into his mouth.

"I need to turn off my alarm," Leo said, Donnie had reminded him when he said that they had to get up in half and hour anyway. Raph followed him which confused Leo but he didn't react. Leo took his alarm clock of his bed side table and started fiddling with it not quite sure what he was doing. Raph smirked taking the clock out of Leo's hand, earning him a glare, and turning of the alarm easily.

Leo remained glaring at him as him put the alarm back down and left the room. "You comin' or what?" Raph yelled as he ran down the stairs. Leo's face relaxed as he knew the other ninja couldn't see him. 'I could have done it myself,' Leo thought to himself as he headed down there stairs to get some breakfast.

"Leo, hurry up!" Raph angry yell echoed around the house. Leo didn't react he just stayed sitting on his bed, they should of left 5 minutes ago but Leo didn't want to go. "Leo!" Raph stomped up the stairs and crashed into Leo's room, "look Leo I know you don't want to go, but Splinter said you had to so…" Raph was out of words he didn't really see the point of school either other splinter said they had to go, he was 18 so had just got out of it but seeing as Mikey was 14 and Leo was 15 they needed to go to school.

Leo looked over to Raph sadly, "Raph I don't know the first thing about fitting in."

"That's what you're scared of;" Raph laughed slightly, "look Leo, I think even the people who have been to school there entire life don't have a clue on how to fit in!"

Leo smiled, but still wasn't sure. "Come on Leo you're meant to be the leader, you being worried about things makes us worried as well… please Leo; we need to go you can't be late!"

Leo finally agreed to go and the five of them, April had come over to walk with them.

For the last week Donnie and April had been busily working on fake school records, grades and other things like that. Leo and Mikey had to act they went to a school in California which had closed down last week that why they seemed like transfer students and there was no why of the new school calling up there 'old' school for more records.

At the school gate Leo stopped he didn't want to go. He was never nervous but now was different. This wasn't like a fight he had to know how to fit in with everyone; he was no longer a leader he now had to be a follower. "You guys go ahead I'll check on him," Raph's voice yelled out, the other three nodded, they just wanted to get into school.

"Leo, come on it'll be ok," Raph was trying to comfort him but it wasn't working. Leo could fell the eyes of people watching him from all direction and it was freaking him out. "Can't we just try again tomorrow," Leo whispered. Raph rolled his eyes, "God Leo what's gotten into you." Raph had to practically pull Leo through the gates.

The lady behind the desk welcomed them as they enter her office. "Good morning how can I help you," she smiled down at them. "Hello I'm here to sine in Leonardo and Michelangelo in for their first day of school," Donnie was the one speaking seeing as he was the eldest, he was 19. The lady smiled in a creepy way before looking though her school files. "Are yes here we are, Michelangelo you will be in year nine class J and Leonardo you'll be in year 10 class L!"

It hadn't crossed Leo's mind that him and Mikey wouldn't be in the same year as each other. Today was going to be worse than he though. "You'll be fine Leo," Raph reassured him as he was handed him timetable and a map of the school grounds. Mikey was jumping for joy he was looking forward to having Art first period, but Leo wasn't quite so pleased with having maths. "If you even get lost just come and find me," April smiled before walking away to find her school friends, she was in year eleven.

"Raph I can't do this," Leo yelled just as Raph was about to leave the school gate. Raph smirked, "just think about school as if you're fighting the krang and you'll be fine." The gates swung shut shutting Leo way from the outside world he had learned to love. Mikey was gone and the only person Leo could see was Raph slowly fading into the distance.

He sighed turning around to face the building behind him.

Five minutes later Leo had finally found his class which was good, but the bad thing was he was 10 minutes late. He brought all his courage together and knocked confidently on the door facing him.

"How was school?" Leo wasn't listening to Raph he just flung his bag into the corner and ran up the stairs. "Leo!" Raph yelled after him hearing his bed room door slam closed. Raph felt sad, 'was school really that bad for Leo? Mikey had loved it," Raph thought to himself as he slowly took to the stairs.

"Leo," Raph whispered as he entered Leo's room happy that he hadn't thought to lock it. Leo was curled up on his bed facing away from Raph but even so Raph new that Leo was crying. "Leo, what happened?" Raph sat down next to Leo placing a hand on his shoulder.

"Raph I hate school!" Leo suddenly yelled out turning to face his fellow ninja, "not many people even tried to talk to me and all the people that did I wouldn't talk back 'because I didn't know what to say…" Leo's voice was getting quieter and quieter, "I just don't know how to fit in."

Raph looked in to his friend's sad face. "Leo I know it's hard but we all have to get used to it," he pursed placing him hand over Leo's, "you'll be ok Leo you always are." Raph thought back to the explosion of the krang ship, he had almost lost him that day, he even called him Leonardo.

Leo watched the other ninja leave. He noticed that Raph was dragging his feet, something must be bothering him. Leo sighed jumping down off his bed and pulling his box from under it. He smiled as he pulled the blue fabric over his eyes, securing it with a knot at the back of his head. He felt stronger when he was wearing his head band it was almost like it made him who he was.

"Leo do you want some pizza?" Mikey yelled up the stairs. "Yhar I'll be right down," Leo screamed back his grin widening at the thought of pizza.

7 weeks he had been in school now and it wasn't getting any better! At lease Leo hadn't started a fight with anyone. Today was the last day of the first term and to celebrate Leo's class was having a dance. Leo didn't want to go but the teachers said he had to unless he had a very good excuse and 10 people to justify the truth.

The day of the dance Leo arrived in school early to buy his ticket at the main reception. "Are you bringing any one?" the smiley lady at the desk asked handing Leo his ticket. "Well I don't exactly have any friends here," Leo shrugged.

"They don't have to come to this school," she said confusing Leo, "You can bring anyone you want but you can only get two people in on one ticket." Leo looked down at his ticket to see that it said 'ticket admittance for two,' in gold written on it.

"Raph!" Leo yelled as he walked into the house. "Yes," Raph yelled back, he was lazing on the sofa watching the TV. "Raph can I ask you something?"

"You just did," Raph smirked and Leo rolled his eyes. Raph was still chuckling to his self as he turned off the TV screen and faced Leo. "Well," Leo began not looking Raph in the eye, "There's a dance tonight for my year and we're aloud to bring someone with us… so I was just wondering if you… you wanted to go to the dance with… me?" Leo could sense Raph's smile growing wider as Leo spoke which he took as a yes.

Leo scuttled out the room feeling kind of embarrassed about asking Raph out. 'Wait!' Leo suddenly thought, 'did I just ask Raph on a date?'

"Where are you going Raph?" Mikey asked as Raph took his jacket off the rack in the hall way. "Leo's being forced to go to this school dance," Raph said turning around to face the two who were sitting on the couch, "and because he doesn't know anyone he asked me to go with him."

"Leo asked you out?" Mikey seemed shocked. "No Mikey," Raph huffed zipping up his hoodie, "we're just going as friends."

"Sure I so believe you," Mikey smiled in a sarcastic tone making Raph narrow his eyes. "Come on Raph," Donnie spoke up from behind Mikey, "you've been wanting to ask Leo out for as long as I remember are you sure this isn't a date." Raph was about to jump tackle Donnie when Leo appeared in the doorway making him freeze.

Neither Leo nor Raph had bothered to get dressed up for the dance. They were just wearing what they usually wore which was jeans and t-shirts, Leo was wearing a blue shirt and Raph was wearing a red shirt. They hadn't been expecting everyone else to get so dressed up in suits and dress. "Leo you should have worn a dress." Leo glared at Raph who only smirked back at him.

"Ticket please Leo," the smile office lady said as Leo and Raph approached her, "What's your name?" the lady turned to Raph after stamping Leo's ticket. "It's Raphael," Raph said proudly making Leo roll his eyes. "Another famous Italian artist," The lady mused before letting them in.

The hall was crammed full of people dancing and talking. Leo didn't like it, the music was too loud and he couldn't even hear Raph who was standing just a couple of centre meters away from him. They headed for a corner where no one was standing but yet Leo could still feel eyes watching him. "Want a drink!" Raph yelled just loud enough for Leo to hear him. Leo shrugged and Raph walked away to get them some punch.

Raph returned only a couple seconds with two drinks in his hands. He handed one to Leo who drank it down fast. Raph took one sip but didn't like the taste so gave his cup to Leo also and went to get his friend some more.

8 cups later Raph was regretting giving them to Leo in the first place. Someone had slipped some alcohol into the drink so now Leo was drunk. He had never had alcohol before so it didn't take long of the alcohol to start affecting him.

The drunken Leo smiled wickedly pushing Raph against a wall. "Leo what are you doing?" Raph asked slightly amused by Leo's odd behaviour. But the smile was quickly wiped off his face as Leo kissed him. Raph didn't move, he had wanted to kiss Leo for a long time but this wasn't Leo he had been taken over by the drink.

Raph pushed Leo away from him, glaring, "Leo what the hell?" Leo chuckled drunkenly pushing his hand up Raph's shirt. Raph eyes widened, "Leo stop."

"No!" Leo sounded like a spoilt little kid. He tried to kiss the older boy again but missed ending up kissing his check instead. Raph couldn't help but blush which made Leo laugh more. "Enough Leo, we're going home." Raph wanted to get Leo out of there before he decided to move on to someone else, Raph wouldn't want anything to happen to Leo.

Leo didn't really protest as Raph pulled him harshly out the door. "Raph, why are we leaving?" It was dark outside and there was no one around. Leo pulled on Raph's hand trying to get him back to the party but Raph wasn't having it. "Kill joy!" Leo muttered grabbing hold of Raph hand as he was led home.

It had taken almost double the time it normally did to get home. Leo had attempted to walk into the road twice and tried to kiss Raph more times than you can count. Raph felt guilty. He was the one who gave Leo the drinks in the first place he was just hoping Leo wouldn't kill him for it in the morning. And what was worse was that Raph couldn't help but kiss Leo back a few times even though he knew he shouldn't, because Leo didn't know what he was doing and Raph shouldn't take advantage of him.

They crashed through the door. Raph hissed; covering Leo's mouth to stop him yelling seeing as Mikey and Donnie were probably sleep. "Raph I don't want to go to bed!" Leo huffed as Raph tried to drag him unwillingly up the stairs. "Fine sleep on the couch," Raph yelled letting go of Leo's arm in anger. Leo pouted pulling on Raph's arm to stop him from waking away from him. "Leo make up your god dam mind," Raph rolled his eyes.

"I'll go to bed if you sleep with me." Raph's eyes widened at Leo's words not believing what he heard. "No way Leo your drunk," Raph yelled trying to pull away from the other but Leo tightened his grip. "Fine…" Leo huffed sounding annoyed, "but I won't go to bed unless you promise to sleep beside me."

Raph didn't want to. He already had feelings for Leo and that stupid party had just made things so much worse. Never the less Raph agreed that he would sleep beside Leo that night know that he would wake up before the other and get out the room before Leo woke up, he was pretty sure Leo wouldn't remember a thing.

Raph's eyes fluttered open slowly to see a mop of black hair in front of him. He could help but feel sad. Leo was his friend and he was in love with him, but Leo only wanted to get with him when he was drunk and that wasn't right. Raph would never take advantage over his friend like that.

He backed away slowly, unwrapping him arms from around Leo's sleeping form. 'When did I wrap my arms around him,' Raph asked himself as he continued to back away. "What the." Raph held his breath at the sound of Leo's voice. Leo instantly pushed Raph away from him knocking him off the bed. "Leo I promise I didn't do anything," Raph words were rushed and full a fear. Leo just looked at him with wide eyes holding his head. "Tell me exactly what happened!" Leo demanded rubbing his head; he probably had a head ach from all the alcohol.

"Well at the party someone he put alcohol in the punch," Raph began sitting down cross legged on Leo's carpet, "you drank lodes of it, like 7 cups or something so you were drunk. Then you got all… sexual," Leo's eyes widened at his friend's words, "so you err... you kissed me but I pushed you off," he said his sentence quickly not wanting Leo to get the wrong idea, "then I took you home because I was worried that someone else at the party may try and take advantage of you… but then when we got home you said you wouldn't go to sleep unless I slept with you…"

"What!" Leo yelled wide eyed shuffling backwards to get more distance between them. "Calm down Leo, I didn't sleep with you," Leo breathed a sigh a relief but he still looked very tense, "after I said no you said that you would go to bed if I slept next to you instead… I agreed because I just wanted you to get to bed and stop yelling. When we got up here you practically fall asleep when your head hit the pillow… that's everything, I promise."

Leo was staring at Raph as the story come to an end. "I… I… I'm sorry," The blue ninja whispered looking down. Raph smiled lightly, "I don't mind Leo, I'm just glad you didn't get hurt." Raph stood up ready to make his exit when Leo spoke up again. "My first kiss and I don't even remember it…" Leo seemed sad.

"First kisses are overrated anyways," Raph laughed, abandoning the idea of leaving and sitting on the bed next to Leo. Leo looked up at the other, "was it your first kiss to?" Raph nodded making Leo look even sadder.

"I'm glad I went to the party," Raph said suddenly, Leo looked shocked and confused so Raph continued, "If I hadn't been there when you got drunk you couldn't have gone home with someone and loose much more than your first kiss…"

They sat in silence for a while. Neither of them knowing what to say.

Raph got up, not like the silence, and headed to the door. "Raph," Leo looked up to see Raph leave the room, "Raph," he yelled a little louder but the other ninja still didn't return.

"Thank you Raphael," Leo whispered falling back onto the bed.


	2. Chapter 2

It had been a week since the party but Leo still didn't want to mention it to anyone not even to Donnie and Mikey. It was stupid.

"Hay what happened at that party?" Donnie asked pursing his video game. But the only reply he got was a shake of the head from Leo as he got up to leave. "Leo, what happen between you and Raph? You haven't talked in the last week… Leo."

"Nothing, nothing happened," Leo stuttered edging away from the purple ninja.

"Come on Leo, something must have happened. Why can't you tell me?"

Leo was already gone. Donnie sighed rubbing the back of his head in confusion.

Leo just didn't want to talk about it because he didn't understand it. Yes he had been drunk and yes he didn't remember it but…

Leo just didn't know what to do. Raph had taken the time to save Leo from what might have happened to him, he didn't even want to know what would have happened if Raph hadn't been there with him.

He smiled sadly as he walk down the hall. 'Raph really does care about me, doesn't he,' Leo thought to himself.

His room felt so cold. The windows were shut and the radiator was on but it was just cold. It was like a lonely coldness was hanging in the air. Like something had changed and he didn't want to be alone anymore.

Leo shook his head as he got dressed for the day, he was just glad there was no school he knew someone must have seen him kiss Raph and didn't want the word to spread. Everyone would think that they were dating… they would think that…

'I'm not gay,' Leo said in his head, 'but…' The door to his bed room creped open slowly to reveal a tiered looking Raph standing there. "Hay," the intruder said in a kind of sad voice sitting down on Leo's bed.

"Hay," Leo tried to smile as he sat down next to his friend.

"Look Leo, I'm sorry I haven't talk to you much the last week I just keeping thinking of the dance," Raph breathed not looking at the other.

"It's ok Raph; it's my fault anyway…"

Silence.

"Leo I've just been thinking about what might have happened if I wasn't there." Leo flinched at the others words not like the tone. Raph sounded angry.

"Raph I'm ok, you were there."

"I know," Raph's voice was back to a whisper but still sounded harsh, "I just never want anyone to take advantage over you Leo. When you were drunk you were very sexual and seeing as your hot I'm sure lots of guys would just…"

Silence.

"You think I'm hot?" Leo asked. The other looked up at him there eyes meeting.

"Yes," Raph got up suddenly heading for the door not wanting any further questions on the matter.

"Raph," Leo yelled after him but he didn't turn, "Raph I think your hot too." Leo hand flow to his mouth but it didn't stop the words from reaching Raph's ears.

Raph stopped in the door way to proses what Leo had said but he didn't turn around.

Leo didn't know why he said it, he didn't know what he was feeling because it wasn't something he had felt before, all he knew was that what he had said was true and so was what he was about to say. "Raph I like you," Leo blurted out so fast Raph almost didn't hear what he had said.

Silence.

"Raph," Leo curled his legs up to his chest, he felt like crying. He had told the one person in the world he never thought he would like that he liked him and he hadn't said anything in return.

"Raph," Leo's voice was getting quieter and Raph was no longer there to hear it.

Leo sat mixing his cereal around the bowl. He didn't want to eat but Donnie had insisted that he must eat something but he could bring himself to do it, he was just too sad to eat. 'I'm such an idiot.' It had been three days since Leo had confessed his feeling to Raph and Raph hadn't talk to him since. 'Why?' Leo asked himself.

Raph walked back and forth and up and down his room in annoyance. 'Why didn't I just say I liked him to?' he was mentally killing himself for not responding to Leo and making him cry, 'I should have just said it.' Raph had liked Leo for as long as he could remember but yet when Leo confesses to him all he does is walk away without a single word.

"You're meant to eat your food not play with it." Leo looked up at the youngest ninja as he sat down opposite him with a grin on his face. But the grin soon faded away when he sore Leo's sad expression. "What's up bro?" Mikey tilted his head to the side. Leo just shrugged.

'I need to tell him,' Raph's thoughts were swirling round and around in his head like a hurricane, 'and I need to tell him soon.'

"Mikey do you know what it's like to be in love someone but you don't know if they feel the same way about you?" Mikey blinked at the blue ninja in confusion. "Mikey I think I love Raph but when I told him that I liked him he didn't even say anything back!" Leo yelled tears flowing from his eyes as he buried his head in his hands.

Raph flung everything off his desk in pure annoyance. Why could he never express his feelings? He lent against the now empty desk with a sigh thinking hard. He needed to tell Leo but how?

"Leo please stop crying," Mikey had his arm rapped around Leo as he shock with sadness, "you know Raph's just not good at expressing feelings but I know he likes you too." Leo's head shot up looking at the other with wide water clogged eyes filled with disbelief.

'That's it!" Raph thought happily heading out his bed room door and going into Leo's empty bed room. 'Where is it?' Raph asked himself as he looked around the room for the box that he knew was hidden somewhere.

"Mikey please don't lie to me," Leo screeched with as dry throat.

"I'm not Leo," Mikey sounded unlike himself, his voice was serious making him sound more like Donnie, "Raph said it himself back when we were turtles he told Donnie and then Donnie told me soon after, but we weren't meant to tell you."

"I don't believe you," Leo hid his face again, as the tears sped up, making Mikey sigh.

Silence fell between them.

"Leo, when have I ever lied to you?" Leo opened his mouth to answer Mikey's question but he couldn't think of a single answer. Sure Mikey had lied before but only to people like Shredder or the krang however he would never lie to his fellow ninjas especially not Leo. Mikey may be stupid but in a way he was the cleverest out of all of them, which doesn't make sense but in the same way it does.

"If Raph likes me then why didn't he just say so?"

Mikey opened his mouth a few times kind of looking like a gold fish but no words came out. Their conversation was going around in a circle.

"Dinner!" Donnie's voice echoed though out the house hold, rattling the shutters which hung lifeless over all the windows in the house.

There were clatters and doors slamming as the two ninjas, one running happily the other walking sadly and slowly, entered the room.

"Raph dinner!" Donnie yelled. Leo looked back up there stairs half wishing for Raph to come running down to join them but he didn't. The three ninjas sighed going back through to the kitchen where Donnie had set up there meal.

The ninjas ate mostly in silence until Donnie bravely broke it. "After dinner I need to head out to Splinter's, I have a new concoction and there's a 72% chance that it will work this time," Donnie said triumphantly holding up a test tube then quickly putting it back into his pocket when Mikey reached out to try and touch it.

The concoction Donnie was referring to was the potion he had been working on, since the day they turned human, it was to turn Splinter back in to a human so that he could come and live with them on the surface and not have to live in the sewer on his own anymore.

"Cool!" Mikey laughed and Leo smiled. "Can I come?" Mikey asked pointing his pleading eyes towards the purple ninja. Donnie rolled his eyes before nodding half-heartedly. Mikey did a quick victory dance, which was basically jumping in the air and spinning. "Will you and Raph be ok for a while?" Donnie asked turning back to Leo.

Leo flinched at the hearing of Raph's name but managed to nod none the less with a fake smile plastered on his lips. Donnie smiled back at the other, standing up.

"Bye Leo," Mikey hugged his fellow ninja, before skipping over to the door were Donnie was waiting to leave.

"See you guys later," Leo closed the door gently behind them before sighing and heading into the living room to play a video game.

"Leo!" Raph's yells made Leo flinch dropping his controller. "Leo could you come here a second." Leo got unwillingly up off the floor after turning off his game and slowly making his way up the stair case to Raph's room.

"Close your eyes." Leo was standing facing Raph's door but Raph's voice was coming from behind him. 'He must have been in my room,' Leo thought.

Leo closed his eyes nervously as Raph tied something over them and handed him two heavy but familiar objects, one in each hand. After a few shuffles Raph finally said, "Ok open your eyes." Leo opened his eyes to see a mirror in front of him. In the mirror he sore two strong ninjas, there was a ninja with blue covering his eyes and a Katana sword in both hands and a ninja with red covering his eyes holding a pair of sai knifes.

Leo smirked at the others reflection, forgetting about the sadness he felt deep in his heart. Raph smirked back before the fight began.

There fight lasted for what seemed like hours until they both fell, too tired to continue. They lay on the floor trying to steady there breathing back to a normal pace. They hadn't fort like the real ninjas that they were it what seemed like forever.

Leo sat up looking over the many scratches made by Raph's sai; none of them seemed too bad so he wouldn't need to put any bandages or plasters on them.

Raph sat up too, looking over at the blue ninja smiling almost sadly. "Who won?" he asked in a horse whisper.

Leo shrugged looking over at Raph but was careful not to make eye contact, "I don't know; it seems like we both lost."

Raph stood up heading into the kitchen to get a well-deserved glass of water. "Thank you Raph," Leo said with a faint smile as he stood up also and headed for the stairs.

"Leo, wait!" Raph suddenly yelled out making them both jump. They both spun around to face the other; but Raph didn't say anything more before turning back around to continue his journey to the kitchen.

Beep… beep…

Leo lazily reached over to his bed side table knocking the alarm onto the floor making it stop its infernal beeping. He never had worked how to turn it off using his hands but it seemed to turn off most of the time if he just knocked it off the table.

Today was the start of the second term of school, yay. "I don't want to go," Leo groaned, pulling the blanket up and over his head and trying the go back to sleep. He hated school, he had found that it was pointless and boring but at least it took his mind of Raph for a little while so it could be seen as a good thing.

"Leo!" Raph? "Leo, come on get up."

The covers were pulled away from him and he was too tired to pull them back up again. Opening his eyes Leo's fell on Raph in annoyance.

"Leo you can't stay in bed you've got school today," Raph huffed crossing his arms across his chest.

"Why don't you go to school for me," Leo hissed turning away from the other and smashing his face back into the pillow. Raph rolled his eyes as he grabbed hold of Leo's arm trying to pull him up. The younger ninja attempted to kick him away only to fail.

"Leo seriously you have to go to school!" Leo aimed one more kick but instead of pushing Raph away it did the exact opposite. Raph lost his footing causing him to fall on to the bed, landing on top of Leo.

Leo's eyes opened in surprise at how close he was to the other. Their faces were only miller meters apart from one another and their eyes were locked together. Leo desperately wanted to lean up and press his lips against the others but he resisted the erg.

"I… I need… I need to get breakfast," Leo stuttered, shuffling out from under the older and making a quick exit.

Raph fell on to the bed screaming into the pillows. 'Why didn't I kiss him?' he asked himself. He had been thinking the exact same thing as the other in that situation but yet neither of them had had the guts to do it.

"Seriously Raph why don't you tell him?" The bed dipped as Donnie sat down beside him.

"I don't know, it's just too hard," Raph mumbled, not lifting his head. Donnie chuckled. "Why don't you make a plan?"

"You and your stupid plans!" Raph yelled anger burning in his voice as he jumped to his feet, "Your plan hasn't got you anywhere… It should be this god dam hard to tell someone you're in love with them!"

Donnie's eyes widened. He knew that Raph liked Leo but he didn't know that he was in love with him. "Raph, just promise me something," Donnie stood up also placing his hand on Raph's shoulder.

Raph relaxed nodding his head.

"Promise me you won't let him go and that you won't hurt him anymore," Donnie sounded like a parent. Hurt him? Raph hadn't thought about hurting Leo. He had made Leo sad; he didn't want to be the course of Leo's sadness.

"Raph Promise me."

"I promise."

* * *

**Yay, second chapter up. Sorry that it's not as long as the first. Let me know what you guys think in the form of a review and don't forget to fave and follow if you're enjoying it so far.**

**Bye for now. Peace out!**


	3. Chapter 3

"You Ok?" Raph pocked his head around the door looking at the crumpled form of Leo lying on his bed. Leo wasn't looking at the other; he had his face buried into the pillow. Raph sighed sitting down on the bed next to the blue ninja, Leo grunted in annoyance but he didn't move to push Raph away.

School for Leo seemed to be getting worse and worse. He didn't have any friends and people would look at him weirdly when he walked past. He just didn't want to deal with it. Leo and the other ninjas had spent their whole lives fighting aliens and other mutants so now that they had a normal life it just didn't seem… well, normal.

"You OK?" Raph repeated. Leo grunted again. "Leo is this because of school?" Raph placed his hand on Leo's head, which strangely made the other relax slightly when before it would anger him.

"Raph I hate it…. I just can't fit in," Leo sobbed.

"Leo look at me," Raph said, frowning when the other shock his head, "Leo look, I know your finding it hard to fit in and I know that all you want to be is a ninja again but you just have to… um… who am I kidding, that's not how I talk."

Raph pulled Leo up roughly so that he would look at him and Raph could yell into his face. "You are Leonardo and no matter whether you're a turtle or a human you are still you. Come on Leo your our leader we all know you can do this because you always can! It may not be fighting the krang but it's a whole new fight all together, it's the fight of life and it gets hard but you can't give up. Promise me you won't give up. Promise me you won't back down. Promise me that no matter what, you will still be the Leonardo that I fell in love with."

Leo looked up wide eyed at the other, he could feel himself nodding before the thought even crossed his mind. Leo wanted to say something but Raph was gone.

Leo felt like crying. "Raph please don't do this to me," Leo rubbed at his eyes refusing to let the unwanted tears to fall, "It hurts." Leo gripped at his chest. He could feel his heart breaking into lost pieces as he looked after the one that he loved. "Why are you so fucking stubborn?" Leo screamed at the top of his lungs.

He felt dizzy. I had forgotten to breath but he couldn't remember how! His breaths weren't filling his lungs as he panted for air.

"Why can't I decide whether I love you or hate you?" Leo asked himself just before everything went black.

He shuffled towards the light poring through the open window but didn't quite enter it as if he was scared of being burned. His hand wiped his eyes as he sat up looking around.

"Raph?"

The red ninja was nowhere to be seen. "Raph!" Leo yelled louder hearing his voice echo around the empty room. Foot prints outside his door seemed to scare him but not enough for him to hind again.

"Leo," the voice floated through the now open door.

"Mikey where's Raph?" he asked the other as he sat down on the bed next to him. Mikey's face fell.

"He left last night," Leo's eyes widened ever so slightly at the orange ninja's words, "he was upset, said that he had to think… he hasn't been back since…"

Leo tried to get up but he only found himself falling back onto the bed as tears filled his eyes.

"Leo what's going on?" Mikey asked snuggling up next to the older. Leo shook his head but still hugged Mikey back when he began to cry even heavier. Mikey hugged him tightly, "Leo you're scaring me."

"I'm sorry Mikey," Leo whispered tearfully.

"Leo why are you letting him hurt you?"

Leo couldn't think of anything to say. Was he really doing this to himself? Had he taken the easily way out and blamed Raph when really it was as much his own fault as well as the others?

"Raph's never going to say it," Mikey's voice was barely a whisper; "you're going to have to say it first."

"But I've already said it!" Leo's sadness was quickly replaced with anger as he pushed Mikey away from him. "Why out of all people did it have to be him?"

"Where the hell have you been?" Donnie screeched angrily as a very hung-over Raph entered the house. Raph didn't even like alcohol but last night he had found himself over drinking so much so he couldn't find his way home.

Donnie glared at the other as he walked past him heading for the couch.

"Raph," Raph looked up at the older with an annoyed expression holding onto the side of his head, "you have to apologise to Leo." Raph felt his heart pang with sadness at mention of Leo's name.

"I don't mean to hurt him, I just… I don't know how to tell him the truth…" Raph's voice trailed away, his eyes shifting to the stair case. Raph knew Leo was up there. He was so close but he felt so far away and untouchable to Raph.

"Why don't you start with saying you're sorry and see how things go from there?" Donnie's voice was back to its normal calm tone. He stepped away leaving Raph on his own to decide whether he would run again or face the one he loved.

Raph walked very slowly up the stair case towards Leo's room being way to careful not to let any of the floorboards creek. He even found himself holding his breath as he twisted the door knob.

Mikey looked up as the door slide open slowly to revile a depressed looking Raph. Mikey tried to smile, it didn't show but Raph wasn't looking, he only had eyes for the boy who was sleeping next to Mikey on the bed.

Leo had fallen asleep leaning on Mikey's shoulder then after a while Mikey had turned him so that he could lie on his lap. He knew Leo really wanted Raph sitting next to him but he wasn't going to leave him on his own when he was so sad and scared.

Leo didn't even move when Raph ran his hand gently through his dark hair lovingly.

"Raph, please tell him. You're hurting him really badly," Mikey had a tear in his eye as he got up carefully placing Leo's head on the mattress so that he didn't wake him. He stood up next to the other ninja, even though Raph was taller than him he seemed almost intimidated by the others angry look of hatred that was aimed at him as Mikey left.

Raph careful sat down on the bed next to Leo. He ran his hand through Leo's hair again liking the feeling of the soft strands gliding past his fingertips. Leo sighed in his sleep shifting slightly so that he was lying in Raph's lap.

"I'm sorry Leo," Raph whispered. He could see tears still staining his friends face like they had been embedded into his flesh. He didn't mean to hurt him, but he just couldn't help it. Leo was his best friend he shouldn't even have these feeling for his anyway yet the feelings are there and there not going away. "I'm sorry I'm such a coward."

"You're not a coward Raph," Leo's smooth voice made Raph jump even so slightly. He hadn't realized that Leo's eyes had opened and they were staring up at him un-blinking. "It's just who you are… I'll just have to learn to accept that," His voice was a sad whisper. Leo sat up suddenly not wanting Raph to see him cry.

"But Leo I don't want to be a coward…" Raph took a deep breath but no words fell from his mouth. He got to his feet angrily punching the wall, "Why can't I just say that I love you?"

Neither of them moved for a long while. They were both waiting for the other to break the silence they had found themselves in.

"Raph," Leo's words shattered though the emptiness as he got up standing behind Raph, "I love you." He wrapped his arms around the others waist and rested his head on the back of his neck like he was afraid the other would try to run.

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**Sorry for the cliff hanger but I couldn't resist! XD**

**Sorry this chapter took so long and isn't as long as the last too but I like it how it is. I was originally planning to leave it at 2 chapters but you guys persuaded me to continue writing this as you all seemed to be enjoying it so so much.**

**Anyways please don't forget to review it means a lot to me and it only takes a second. If you want you can check out my other fanfictions and even me original work at: ** ~mouse200


	4. Chapter 4

They didn't know what to say to each other now as they both stood there in silence. Leo with his arms twisted tightly around Raph's waist as he cred into his shoulder.

"Why?"

Leo jumped back slightly at Raph's voice. Why? What does he mean by that? "Why what?" Leo sniffed.

"Why do you love me Leo?"

More silence fell between them as Leo thought hard. But there wasn't an answer. "I don't know Raph, I just do," Leo didn't know whether to cry more or laugh. Was Raph trying to muck around with his mind or was he just trying to find a way to show Leo what he really felt.

"Leo let go of me," Raph voice was calm almost happy.

"No!" Leo yelled gripping him tighter crying again, "Don't leave me."

"I'm never going to leave you Leo," Raph felt Leo's grip loosen; "I love you Leo."

Leo's hand flow to his mouth, forgetting there mission of staying around Raph's waist. But it wasn't out of shock no, it was out of joy. Raph had finally said it!

"I love you," Raph repeated turning to face the other. He smiled warmly at the other placing his hands gently over his and bringing them away from his mouth revealing a smile. "I love you too Raph," his grin widened. He lent his forehead against the red ninja's chest, he could hear his heartbeat.

"I know." Raph lifted Leo's chin and pressed their lips together.

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**I hope you all enjoyed it, personally I'm sad it's over it's been so much fun to write. This last part was originally part of chapter 3 but I wanted to leave a cliff hanger at the end of it so I decided to give this part its own special chapter. This might not be the end though, I may decide to write more which may include DonnieXMikey but I haven't decided.**

**Anyways as always please leave a review letting me know what you think, fave this if you think it worthy and if you want you can check out my other fictions (but there's no more RaphXLeo sorry)**


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